To Move or Not to Move, That is a Serious Matter!

It's been quite a while since my last post on the last week of October - almost two months. During this time, I've been really busy with multiple assignments and tests and didn't seem to find the time to sleep - not to mention blog! The semester's over by the end of exams and finally I'll have the opportunity to get some satisfying rest. Right now, I'm just taking a short break before I bury beneath my books and study like crazy, but then again I can't do that till I get home from work (I have a shift tomorrow).

Nothing really major happened until two weeks ago. As usual, mom would scold about the smallest things but somehow, her scoldings became more and more frequent than usual. Then suddenly, the words "Move the f*** out!" would burst from her lips from time to time. I knew then that her infamous phase from grade 10 has returned!

Friends who knew me then witnessed how much trouble this "phase" has caused me. It had struck a few weeks before exams, a time when major assignments and projects were assigned. Mom would scold me to an extent where she would kick me out of the apartment and allow my return hours later. Due to her insensitive scolding, I would travel to the library (to study and do homework) and return home when it closed 8:30pm. Because of her constant scoldings, holidays became my worst nightmare (school and trips to the library were my only escape). Things became so problematic that I made plans to move to my dad's place (my parents are divorced and I've been living with mom). Just when I was about to pack my stuff, she started to cry and said she wanted me to stay. She even mentioned that by moving I was abandoning her. In the end, she promised she won't scold me ever again and for reasons unknown to even myself, I stayed. Her promise was only for effective the following two weeks because she continued to scold afterwards. Despite my regret, I stayed with mom.

About two weeks ago, mom would constantly scold and would make me do the most unimportant things while I was trying to complete my assignments. Her scoldings became so frequent that I chose to do my studying while she slept.

On Thursday morning, she yelled at me for being in the bathroom, preventing her from getting ready for her 1:30pm appointment to get her car fixed at Ford (and yes, we shared ONE bathroom). When I came out, she was still yelling at me. I was about to reach my bag when she started to tug me at the collar of my shirt and made attempts to scatch my neck. To counter her attack, I held her wrists and started to holler her to stop. We struggled for the next few minutes until she broke down in tears. When she finally let go of my shirt, I ran into the bedroom and changed. I came out afterwards to see her crying on the sofa and went over to comfort her. She pushed me away and told me to move out. I gave her the key and told her that I would return home after 10pm until I find a place to stay. When I got to school and asked my friends for help, one of them offered me a suite at an affordable price.

At about 7:20pm that day, mom phoned me home. She didn't mention my moving out when I stepped in but I went up to her about it. I told her that I found a place and could move out the following Wednesday. She was surprised and said she never wanted me to move out. In the end, she proposed a deal and said a bunch of things that made me to (unwillingly) agree to stay. Honestly, why would she say something and not mean it at all? I seriously don't see the point in that. I already texted my friend of not renting her place and seriously owe her an apology.

Even though we've come to an agreement, I'm still going to keep an eye for a place with an affordable rent. A friend of mine had said that it would be best to move out if her scolding affects my studies and ultimately my marks. Besides, mom may not be serious of the matter right now but there's no guarantee that she won't be in the future. Doesn't hurt to be prepared right?