Something to Think About: The Fear of Rejection

Months ago, I watched a MV of a song called "Dōshite Kimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimattandarō?" (Why Did I Fall In Love With You?) by a Korean boy band called DBSK. Just now, I watched it again and suddenly wanted to blog about it. Don't mistaken that I'm going to write how madly in love I am with this song or how much I love their voices (both of which are true). What I'm really about to share are the thoughts that ran through my mind after watching the MV....

The video features a male university/college student falling in love with a girl in his class. They soon become friends and often hang out with the other members of their (friend) group. During all this time, his feelings towards her stayed strong and never faded away - not even after graduation when everyone went separate ways for their careers. However, never did he once tell her how he felt, nor showed it in any manner. One night, the two meet up on a bridge where the girl tells him that she's getting married. It was obvious that she also had feelings for him and hoped that he would finally confess his feelings to her. To her disappointment, he just congratulated her and wished her all the best.

It is due to the fear of rejection that stopped them from telling each other how they felt. It is this fear that costed their chance to be with the one they truly and fully love. Why can't people just open up and directly tell that person how they feel? Why must they hide the truth and end up loving that someone from afar? Doesn't it hurt when you find out that they fall for someone other than yourself?

I know I'm in no position to say these words. But it's because of my past experience that allows me to understand how it feels when your heart is broken....

If that someone rejects you after your confession, wouldn't you feel lighter to finally have the opportunity to let go and move on? What if that someone liked you all along, but was too shy to express it to you as well? If you don't ever tell them, then you both won't have a chance at all. Besides, you'll never know until you try.

Take this as a message to help you wake up from this useless fear. Take this as a motivation to do the things you desire, but fear to expose. Stop the worrying. Stop the constant thoughts. Quit the what-if's and take action.

Before you regret it....

So Far, It May Turn Out Bad!

In my previous entry titled as "So Far So Good" I mentioned that Teresa was not in any of my classes so far. Unfortunately, that might change. Just now, I just made some adjustments with my timetable and that means the reopening of the gruesome posibility of having Teresa in any one of my classes! All I can really do is shake my head and hope the worst won't happen...

...will it?

Is It Worth It?

March Break had come to an end and all I did were four things: eat, sleep, homework and study. Thank goodness to the a few hours of TV or else I would have melted under the pressure! And believe me, two tests, of which I'm not too confident about, in a row with only a day to separate them...that's what I'll definitely call pressure!

After I got off the bus from school today, I saw a couple, hand in hand, walking from the direction of the library towards the neighbourhood shopping mall. It was a close friend of mine and her boyfriend. I didn't walk over, nor did I called for her attention - I just walked on the other side of the road, pretending to have not seen them. It's not nice to interrupt their sweetness! As I walked home, I smiled and wished them eternal happiness.

It's actually a very fortunate thing to be able to be with the person you like, if not love. I, unfortunately, don't have that opportunity. You may find it silly, but I never thought of telling him how I felt. Instead, I fear that if I told him, our friendship would end. I just don't want to him say, "I'm sorry, but I only thought of you as a friend. Nothing more." If he does (and I'm pretty sure he would), I know that I won't have the courage to face him ever again and I'll definitely avoid him. Perhaps you will think of me as a coward, but who's to judge? I don't mind him not knowing about it. Although I'm able to maintain our friendship, is the pain really worth it?

Currently, the songs: "Insufficient Love," "Why Did I Fall in Love with You?" and "Rainy Night" all describe how I've been feeling all this time. "Insufficient Love" always makes me cry. I guess it's because of the "let go" part!

I actually summed up a lot of courage to include this post in my blog. I hope that I won't regret for ever posting this entry in the future. If I do, I'm pretty sure that I will not just remove this post, I might even remove my entire blog or worse yet, close my account. I just hope that day will never come.