Hopeless?

I came by the store last week to get a little something for mom and unexpectedly met the new manager. Although she had the managerial look, she did seem like a nice person. After a brief introduction, I mentioned about the schedule and emphasized my availability throughout the week. I was somewhat relieved when the problem was brought to her attention and rather disappointed the instant I found myself scheduled for only two days this week. I guess it's better than nothing right?

I'm still working hard with my job-hunt, but success seems a little distant and school is going to start soon...

The End Maybe?

I came by the store last week to find that I'm not scheduled to work at all this week. I guess the mistake I made with the merchandise did cost me my job. Could this be the end? My mind is blank right now. Perhaps I'll blog about this on a later date.

Too Many Questions, Too Much Time!

Man, it's 5am and I'm still wide awake. Despite my fatigue, I don't feel like sleeping. Food is now an option and each day is passing by ever so slowly. I'm quite aware of my upset lifestyle, and I'm pretty sure it's not that bad. Besides, it'll change by the time school starts...

The store is no longer "managerless" because the new manager is starting today. Everyone else is scheduled with her throughout the week - except me. As usual, I'm lazying around at home while everyone else are doing their best to leave a good impression with her. Would they, while performing a great show, express how awful I am? I'd seriously die of laughter if I end up introducing myself by Christmas. Would I last that long? Or would my existence be meaningless by then? How would she schedule me? Would she give me the chance? Or would she be filled with irritation from the first sight of me? Who knows!

I am scared, but I'd rather have them answered than to wait like this. The sooner I find out, the better. Besides, this isn't something I can control - might as well accept reality.

Post-Performance Review Shift [Part 2]: Constant Stress

Work has been stressful lately. This morning, I surprised myself by sighing so much while getting ready. I've become really cautious to not make any mistakes in fear of termination. Like today, I made a mistake while stocking merchandise. I was really scared that my co-worker would complain about me when I felt frustration from her (or was I being too sensitive?).

I feel so hopeless with my single weekly shifts and constant worries that I'll get terminated before I find a new job. Am I over-thinking or would it become reality?

Mom hasn't been much help either. She constantly rants about work for hours almost every time she comes home, adding more stress and frustration on me. She even said that I deserve the stuff from work in one of her scoldings.

I feel so depressed that I've lost my appetite (which isn't a good sign). Would there be an end to my misery?