Too Many Questions, Too Much Time!

Man, it's 5am and I'm still wide awake. Despite my fatigue, I don't feel like sleeping. Food is now an option and each day is passing by ever so slowly. I'm quite aware of my upset lifestyle, and I'm pretty sure it's not that bad. Besides, it'll change by the time school starts...

The store is no longer "managerless" because the new manager is starting today. Everyone else is scheduled with her throughout the week - except me. As usual, I'm lazying around at home while everyone else are doing their best to leave a good impression with her. Would they, while performing a great show, express how awful I am? I'd seriously die of laughter if I end up introducing myself by Christmas. Would I last that long? Or would my existence be meaningless by then? How would she schedule me? Would she give me the chance? Or would she be filled with irritation from the first sight of me? Who knows!

I am scared, but I'd rather have them answered than to wait like this. The sooner I find out, the better. Besides, this isn't something I can control - might as well accept reality.

What Can I Do Now?

Since my manager left, I've only been given a single 4 hour shift on Sundays and it's definitely not what I want. I've already changed my availability to show that I'm able to work throughout the week, but still no change. I've spoken to my assistant manager twice that I wanted more shifts, but she just used petty excuses and lies like "not enough hours to share" when my co-worker had at least 12 hours that week, and "not experienced enough to be on the floor," but seriously, how am I able to improve when I'm not even given the chance to? And now she scheduled an appointment to speak with me tomorrow. About what? I really have no clue. It could be a performance evaluation, or an opportunity to fire me. I don't know and it's really bothering me... What can I do now?

Job Security?

It's been a while since my last entry - I suppose I got too lazy to even turn on my computer. (Yes, it's possible to survive without using your computer for a month, and I'm proof!)

Nothing special happened for the past month until last week Monday. That morning, I found out that the store manager left the position and was shocked. Surely it wasn't of her free will since she dropped by the day before, cheerfully as usual, to pick up something. She has worked for the company for many years and dedicated her life towards it. She would stay way past her shift if the store's busy and would come by voluntarily to help out on her days off. She was really nice and would help you in every way possible. Of course, she would set you straight if you're doing something incorrectly, but that's her job: to keep the store running smoothly and properly. She even visited yesterday to see how we were doing. There was no way she would resign from the position, it's just not possible.

And, I was right.

It turned out that she got fired for reasons I don't wish to know of. It's so cruel. How can the company remove a dedicated employee just like that? Didn't they have second thoughts? Had they any doubts? I hope they'll regret for their loss and they fully deserve it, though it's pretty unlikely. I hope she'll find another job soon and live on happily. Some things just needs to be forgotten...

Next week is my one-year anniversary since I started and this sort of thing had to happen. I guess it's true, there is no job security in Canada.