Breaking Under Pressure

Mom's being ridiculous again, as usual. She's been pressuring me to get a job for the past two weeks with her constant yelling. I'm starting to get really tired of this. I can't breathe under this constant madness. Thanks to school, I'm actually able to escape from being suffocated. It really breaks my heart to think that money is more important than her daughter's schooling, her daughter's future. I'm really struggling to keep hanging on, but I'm afraid I'm starting to loose grip...and fast.

Semi-annual Rampage Has Started! (Again)

Mom's semi-annual "move-out" rampage started a few days ago and will last for I-don't-know how many days. Funny thing is, it was triggered by simply not going grocery shopping with her in order to study for 3 tests (scheduled one after the other). One thing's for sure, her constant insults aren't much help and I'm too sick of it to even care. I'm already stressed enough with schoolwork and workplace issues, I don't need more to suffocate myself. Maybe I should have stayed at the campus to get some studying done. The test tomorrow morning is huge and I'm nowhere near ready. What am I going to do???

(Study, obviously!)

Do I Really Deserve This?

As usual, mom's yelling at me again, and to add more pain, my head is pounding right now. So much has been in my mind lately, and her yellings aren't doing much for me - except giving me more pain. I have several worries about school, financial stability and everything in between. Now, I'm going to add more stuffing to my already-congested mind with worries related to moving out and renting my own place. I feel like the boy who cried wolf right now. It's not the first time I've complained about this and my wanting to move out, and yet I still stayed with her. It's useless to complain - I know - but there's no way I'll last for 6 months on my own.

Regretting my past decisions, I'm trying so hard to hang on and not even sure when I'll loose my grip. It's so hard to breathe right now and tears are rolling down my cheeks (from headache and this) while typing this entry...

(Sigh) Finally, silence... Maybe I'll have some peace of mind now...