Breaking Under Pressure

Mom's being ridiculous again, as usual. She's been pressuring me to get a job for the past two weeks with her constant yelling. I'm starting to get really tired of this. I can't breathe under this constant madness. Thanks to school, I'm actually able to escape from being suffocated. It really breaks my heart to think that money is more important than her daughter's schooling, her daughter's future. I'm really struggling to keep hanging on, but I'm afraid I'm starting to loose grip...and fast.

Revisiting Winter Sonata...

Mom's scolding me right now. She's saying that I'm making her spend so much money and that my presence here is a waste for her. She's also saying things like, "Did your father send you here to cause me so much trouble? Why don't you ever go to him? Why don't you just f- to your father's? Why stay with me?" and that I don't care about her. Now's she's criticizing that I spend so much money on myself and nothing on her. I seriously don't understand why she's doing this. She just suddenly went off with all this garbage for no reason - unless... She's watching a TVB drama called "Moonlight Resonance" and perhaps it triggered her eruption. It's about some kind of family dispute and to be honest, I have little interest in watching something like that.

Today, mom picked me up after class and drove me to STC to check next week's schedule at my workplace (I have a shift on Sunday from 11 to 4pm). Then we went to Pacific Mall to exchange the DVD's she bought last week with sis (apparently they're not functioning properly). Now she's mumbling that she needs to yell at me whenever she's starting to feel better, in terms of health and that I carry my father's 'evil' characteristics without living with him. While she spoke to the lady at the store, I went to their DVD collection and found Winter Sonata! I loved the drama since the first time I watched it in grade 10 (about four years ago)! Now she's mumbling that whoever falls for me must have done something terrible in their previous lives to cause such misfortune (jeez). I just couldn't resist and bought it.

It's interesting how the drama feels so new and fresh, as if I'm watching it for the first time...yet, at the same time, it feels like I'm visiting an old friend...

One thing's for sure, my love for Winter Sonata has never changed and do you know what would be perfect? Getting its soundtrack! I'm starting to look for it, but with little progress. I really want it and hopefully I'll find it in the end!

My Preferable Lifestyle!

A customer came in yesterday and we had a nice conversation. The conversation started off with him asking whether I'm still going to school and which college I'm in. He also said something that drew my attention. He told me to enjoy my school life while I still can because in the end I might miss it. He said he missed it a lot, especially the fun times while hanging out with his friends. Though I do have to say, he must have graduated a long while ago (he had a "businessman" look) and may have lost contact with most of his friends.

The truth is, will I really miss the school days? For now, I really don't think so. My lifestyle for the past few weeks involves only work, which is quite similar to the lifestyle I may have (if I'm lucky) after I graduate (the only difference will be my occupation I guess) and I'm enjoying it! When I get home from work, I feel so relaxed and comfy. There's no need for me to worry about school or anything related (perhaps I'm just lazy). The days just pass by quite swiftly and of course, the idea that I'm making money by myself feels great!

I actually have my future all planned out and it's quite simple. After I graduate, I'll have a full-time job that's related to my program. Then I'm going to (hopefully) save enough money and buy a duplex or a two/three bedroom suite. During my free-time, I plan to read books, listen to music, go out with friends, enjoy a coffee at a café or bake a cake at home. Simple enough, right? This lifestyle I want is (definately) not easy to accomplish, but it's surely going to be a strong motivation to work harder and put more effort in everything I do.

Will I succeed? Hopefully I will, nothing is impossible right?

Wish me luck!!

The Truth About Retail

Wow!! It's been two weeks since my last entry! I suppose I've been quite busy lately. Despite the exhaustion, I feel great - especially when I make a small contribution to the household by giving my mom $100 after each payroll! I guess the pride gave me a confidence boost!

I was working on Friday night (until closing) with a co-worker who worked at the store since last year Christmas. He wasn't happy with the job, especially with the (minimum) wage. He also mentioned something that I didn't really give much thought into until this morning. He said that retail stores are able give their employees such a low income is because of the simplicity of the job itself. Anyone can work in retail and learning how to do the job doesn't take much time, and he's right!

As someone who has no employment experiences whatsoever, my choices are quite limited and retail does seem like the only thing I'm capable of. To be honest, I am very grateful that I'm able to find a job during the current economy. No matter how bad the job really is, you are making money from that job - which is good enough for me.

I do plan to continue working at the store for the next two/three years. Let's just hope I'll be able to accomplish that!

Wish me luck!!