A Dangerous Test on Luck

Last week Thursday, I visited Ash before she left for school overseas for the first time in 3 years. I had problems getting there as I wasn't familiar with the area she lived in, but the bus driver was nice enough to help me out. By the time I arrived, I had no more than 40 minutes to chat with those there before I had to rush back to school (I visited during a 2 hour break). When I arrived at the bus stop, I had less than 20 minutes before I was late for class and the instructor hated lateness. Anxiety filled my veins and I started wandering off in hope to find a faster route back without any luck. I guess "worry" was written all over my face as this guy, who was mowing his lawn, offered to give me a lift when I passed by. I hesitated for a moment, but a look on my watch made me test my luck. Along the way, I kept my eyes on the road signs as we chatted. In the end, I arrived on time with 5 minutes to spare. It's until I stepped into the building that I started to shake with fear and questioned myself with various "What if?"

I admit, it was definitely a dangerous thing to do and something I shouldn't have attempted at all in the first place. I was lucky that nothing "bad" happened and I'm definitely not doing it ever again!

A Quick Review of Past Events

Random stuff happened during the past month, including the usual quarrels with mom. So here's a quick review:

First off, the job hunt suffered a painful failure. Despite my efforts, I received no reply from anyone. Yes, school has restarted and my class schedule isn't the best. I have two weekly 8:30 morning classes, including Fridays that also end at 8:30 (that's 12 hours in a single day, too bad I don't get paid for it)! At least it's spacious, granting me enough time to finish homework. I could even go to work - that is, if I do scheduled, especially after the stupid mistake I made during a purchase. Oh well. I'll have to leave that aside and concentrate on my studies. It's my last year and I have to do really well to get myself into a university and a well-paying job at the same time...

Last week Wednesday was Mid-Autumn Festival. At home, we don't do any major celebrating and so the day goes by like any other day. But this year, it felt different. I would always have lunch with grandma a few days before the event and she would always give us Moon Cakes (a traditional treat eaten during the festive event). This year, because she's no longer "here," I didn't have any. For the past while, I thought of her when I pass by stands or see TV commercials featuring the festive treat. I guess it's times like this when you realize how much you miss someone dear to you...

Hopeless?

I came by the store last week to get a little something for mom and unexpectedly met the new manager. Although she had the managerial look, she did seem like a nice person. After a brief introduction, I mentioned about the schedule and emphasized my availability throughout the week. I was somewhat relieved when the problem was brought to her attention and rather disappointed the instant I found myself scheduled for only two days this week. I guess it's better than nothing right?

I'm still working hard with my job-hunt, but success seems a little distant and school is going to start soon...

The End Maybe?

I came by the store last week to find that I'm not scheduled to work at all this week. I guess the mistake I made with the merchandise did cost me my job. Could this be the end? My mind is blank right now. Perhaps I'll blog about this on a later date.

Too Many Questions, Too Much Time!

Man, it's 5am and I'm still wide awake. Despite my fatigue, I don't feel like sleeping. Food is now an option and each day is passing by ever so slowly. I'm quite aware of my upset lifestyle, and I'm pretty sure it's not that bad. Besides, it'll change by the time school starts...

The store is no longer "managerless" because the new manager is starting today. Everyone else is scheduled with her throughout the week - except me. As usual, I'm lazying around at home while everyone else are doing their best to leave a good impression with her. Would they, while performing a great show, express how awful I am? I'd seriously die of laughter if I end up introducing myself by Christmas. Would I last that long? Or would my existence be meaningless by then? How would she schedule me? Would she give me the chance? Or would she be filled with irritation from the first sight of me? Who knows!

I am scared, but I'd rather have them answered than to wait like this. The sooner I find out, the better. Besides, this isn't something I can control - might as well accept reality.