doing for the past few days is nothing but homework. Somehow, I have been quite desperate to complete all my assignments and my studies for the upcoming tests. I haven't done anything fun, like going out with friends, etc. The only thing I'm looking forward to is going to this year's Anime Con with a few of my high school friends, although I'm not sure if I'm able to go in the end...I have also went around asking stores if they are hiring, as the summer holiday is going to start surprisingly soon. Mom has been pushing and pressuring me to find a summer job "or else," but it's not like I would want to sit at home doing nothing. I just don't understand why she's diminishing my hopes in getting a job by telling me that the odds of me finding one is near zero, no matter how many resumes I hand out (Sadly, I actually agree with her. Right now, under the economic crisis, there are quite a number of people who lost their jobs because the companies they worked for could not support them - but she could at least encourage my efforts instead of putting me down. All she's been doing is increasing my pressure and ridding my hopes for a better future, which involves her as well - not just myself).
Another thing that's adding on to the pressure is the fact that she's getting old. For the past few years, she's been constantly reminding me that the household will soon rely on me to support and I have known (even without her telling me) this fact since I was 10/12 years old. You can imagine how painful (and tiring) it is for a child to have this kind of responsibility and pressure on her shoulder at such a young age.
Several times, I have wanted to give up altogether - but the only 
thing that's keeping me going are the friends I have who, unknowingly, gave me a lot of encouragement and support. Of course, I have also reminded myself that I cannot be so selfish and leave my mother behind. To relieve part of my stress, I download songs and pictures of my favourite singers, bands and actors, and maintain my craze for anime. All these things have, somehow, become my life.
thing that's keeping me going are the friends I have who, unknowingly, gave me a lot of encouragement and support. Of course, I have also reminded myself that I cannot be so selfish and leave my mother behind. To relieve part of my stress, I download songs and pictures of my favourite singers, bands and actors, and maintain my craze for anime. All these things have, somehow, become my life. I just don't know how much longer I could put up with this burden. I don't want to give up so easily, but somehow the increase of this pressure of mine is steering me towards it. Is that where I'm going to end up?
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