An Overreaction?

According to my previous entry (Unexpected Interview!), I mentioned that I went to the campus to meet up with two friends. There, we bumped into another friend (let's call him friend E). He too was there to make a few changes for his program as well. And so, together we waited for the teacher to finish his class. While we waited, we talked about the things we did during the past month. Then, he asked if we (friend C and I) have seen Teresa and went out together with her. It didn't surprise us that he was concerned with her whereabouts since we (sort of) guessed that he has a crush on her (although he denied it, it was quite obvious). Friend C told him that she hasn't seen Teresa lately. She also told him that Teresa and I had a fight, and are no longer friends. "Those two won't talk to each other because they got into a fight - but it was really her fault" is all she said.

If you have read my previous posts about Teresa, you may know what the fight was all about. For those who haven't, Teresa called me a lowlife because I disliked the fact that someone left his backpack on a seat at our table without asking if the seat was taken - even after I told him that it was. It didn't mean that I yelled at him or made any further requests for him to remove it. The bag was still sitting there when they returned from their trip to their lockers ten minutes later. I only expressed my discomfort and suddenly she insulted like that (more details in "A Lowlife?" and "Can't Believe It's Coming to an End" entries)!

Upon hearing that from friend C, he immediately asked me what I did to Teresa! I couldn't believe my ears! He actually thought that I was at fault! Seeing my reaction, Friend C quickly told him that it was Teresa, not me. He paused and stared at friend C for a moment. Slowly, he hesitantly asked what she has done. Friend C looked at me, expecting an answer from me and he followed her gaze. Without looking at either of them, I simply said, "I'm not going to talk about it to avoid ruining her impression in your mind" and it was quite clear that I was pissed at him.

Should I have reacted that way? He didn't know what had happened between us. Besides, if he truly does like her, he would not expect anything negative from Teresa. I guess I shouldn't have snapped at him like that and I'm starting to feel a little guilty. One thing's for sure: the memory of that insult is still heavily engraved in my mind. Don't know if I would ever forget about it, or at the least, get over it...

Should I? Or Should I Not?

When the biology lecture ended today, Teresa came up to me and apologized for what she said to me two days ago. I got pissed off at the sight of her and so I simply waved her away as I walked past her towards the exit. I know that was a fairly rude gesture, but somehow I don't feel guilty for my rudeness (as I usually do in normal situations) because deep inside I felt that she deserved it.

Afterwards, I told friend C (from "The Events So Far" entry) about what happened in the lecture room and apparently, she was a bit surprised. As we all know, Teresa is not a person who would ever admit her faults, not to mention apologize for them. Then I asked friend C something that lingered in my mind at the time: should I accept Teresa's apology? All friend C said was, "It's up to you." Not being too pleased with her response, I asked her what she would do if it happened to her. Unfortunately, she didn't know, nor could she imagine it. Knowing how bothered I am by the situation, she helped me sort out what has happened during the school year.

During the first semester, all was peaceful and everyone was happy. However, things changed once the second semester began. Including the insult, Teresa has thrown me her attitude/insults for a total of FOUR times, excluding the COUNTLESS "mean" jokes she's said to me, and to be honest, the mean jokes are more rude and insulting than they are mean. Teresa is someone who expects others to let go of the mean jokes she says but takes them seriously (and I mean extremely seriously) when said to her and (as friend C pointed out) she tends to fire her insults at me (and not so much to the others). I guess it's because she knows that I don't take the mean jokes seriously, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to accept them on a daily basis.

As I'm typing this entry, I remember a phrase from a pledge that all the students at my junior high had to memorize: "I am responsible for my own actions" and it's true. Everyone is responsible for what they say and do, and there are NO exceptions. Having that said, I don't think I should accept her apology. There is NO way I'm going to take another crap from her, and I shouldn't. Besides, she IS responsible for what she said, and therefore, she should endure the consequences. She should learn that nothing in this world is bound to go her way, nor is it obligated to take her attitude - especially in the working world.

Whether she learns her lesson or not, it is no longer my problem, and it wasn't supposed to from the start. There is absolutely NO way I'm going to be friends with her, nor am I going to take another crap from ANYONE, and she's no different.

A Lowlife?

I have been given the biggest insult a person can ever receive. Today, a so-called friend called me a lowlife. Who? Her name's Teresa, the same friend I mentioned in "The Events So Far" entry whom I begged for forgiveness just because I attempted to mend her friendship with friend A (and yes, their friendship is still broken). What happened? While friend C (from "The Events So Far" entry) went to stand in line to use the microwave provided by the school, we continued the conversation about the bag an Asian dude left behind at our table while he stood in line for the microwave. I didn't like it there while she said she didn't mind at all. The conversation magically elevated into an argument where she first called me selfish and later on, a lowlife.

However, what she didn't know is that while I stayed behind to guard the table when she and friend C went to their lockers, the Asian dude just walked up to the table and dropped his stuff on the chair. When I told him that someone is sitting there, he just looked at me, continued to take out his lunch and left his bag while he walked towards the line for the microwave.

Does disliking a situation like that make me a lowlife? Does she even KNOW what a lowlife is at all? I don't even see the point in trying to maintain a friendship with someone so barbarous like her. Fine. She called me a lowlife, then I'll show her what kind of a lowlife I can actually be! Unfortunately, my conscience is stopping me from giving her payback because I know that under ANY circumstances, hurting someone is wrong. Besides, it doesn't solve anything.

No one has ever given me such an insult, and NEVER would I EVER call ANYBODY a lowlife. NO ONE deserves this kind of an insult; calling someone one only shows what kind of a person you are. She better not come looking for trouble, or else I'll DEFINITELY show her my true colours. I don't want to hurt anyone nor do I like to, but somehow she's asking for it. Should I give it to her?