An Overreaction?

According to my previous entry (Unexpected Interview!), I mentioned that I went to the campus to meet up with two friends. There, we bumped into another friend (let's call him friend E). He too was there to make a few changes for his program as well. And so, together we waited for the teacher to finish his class. While we waited, we talked about the things we did during the past month. Then, he asked if we (friend C and I) have seen Teresa and went out together with her. It didn't surprise us that he was concerned with her whereabouts since we (sort of) guessed that he has a crush on her (although he denied it, it was quite obvious). Friend C told him that she hasn't seen Teresa lately. She also told him that Teresa and I had a fight, and are no longer friends. "Those two won't talk to each other because they got into a fight - but it was really her fault" is all she said.

If you have read my previous posts about Teresa, you may know what the fight was all about. For those who haven't, Teresa called me a lowlife because I disliked the fact that someone left his backpack on a seat at our table without asking if the seat was taken - even after I told him that it was. It didn't mean that I yelled at him or made any further requests for him to remove it. The bag was still sitting there when they returned from their trip to their lockers ten minutes later. I only expressed my discomfort and suddenly she insulted like that (more details in "A Lowlife?" and "Can't Believe It's Coming to an End" entries)!

Upon hearing that from friend C, he immediately asked me what I did to Teresa! I couldn't believe my ears! He actually thought that I was at fault! Seeing my reaction, Friend C quickly told him that it was Teresa, not me. He paused and stared at friend C for a moment. Slowly, he hesitantly asked what she has done. Friend C looked at me, expecting an answer from me and he followed her gaze. Without looking at either of them, I simply said, "I'm not going to talk about it to avoid ruining her impression in your mind" and it was quite clear that I was pissed at him.

Should I have reacted that way? He didn't know what had happened between us. Besides, if he truly does like her, he would not expect anything negative from Teresa. I guess I shouldn't have snapped at him like that and I'm starting to feel a little guilty. One thing's for sure: the memory of that insult is still heavily engraved in my mind. Don't know if I would ever forget about it, or at the least, get over it...

Can't Believe It's Coming to an End

I still don't understand why Teresa's still onto me. After classes ended in the afternoon, I went to the bus stop and saw her there waiting for the bus. I kept my distance away from her until the bus came. Not knowing that she takes the same bus (if I did, I would have stayed behind), I walked past her towards it. When she called me, I didn't respond. Then, she called me once more and tapped on my shoulder to get my attention. That small gesture made me pissed immediately. (Mind you, she doesn't like anybody touching her, not even a small tap, and yet she touched me. How ironic!) I turned my head, and said F-off (Don't misunderstand, I didn't say the word, just the letter 'F'). While I took the transfer, she asked, "Why are you doing this to me?" Calmly, I answered, "Hmm, I wonder." To that, she said, "Why are you doing this to me? I don't deserve this." With an unfriendly smile, I simply asked, "Really?" and sat on the seat near the exit (at least a meter away from her), my back towards her. "I already said I'm sorry, so I don't owe you anything" is all she said, though she did sound a bit pissed (at me maybe?).

So, Teresa's saying that by simply apologizing, I should let go of that insult she gave me? Come on, she can't be serious! That insult ripped my dignity and she thinks she doesn't owe me anything? Even if hers' is removed, it won't erase my loss, nor would I feel any better. After a simple argument (refer to "The Events So Far" entry), she's still not willing to talk to friend A. If she can't let go of something that small, why does she expect me to forget the insult? Honestly, the argument is nothing compared to the insult, and don't forget about the countless "mean" jokes she's said to me (refer to "Should I? Or Should I Not? entry). If I didn't have a nosebleed half an hour earlier, I would have lost my temper right there and then. Luckily for her, I kept myself as calm as possible to prevent any further bleeds. Besides, there's no need to become upset and ruin my day.

Anyways, enough about Teresa. I can't believe that my first year at college is actually coming to an end. It's closer than you think (at least for my classmates and myself) because I have a Chemistry lab exam tomorrow afternoon. I remember talking to a friend about my worries for college during the summer holiday. I was afraid I wouldn't survive the first month and was extremely anxious about the tests and assignments that would be given in my class. I remember her telling me that I'll do fine and that my worries are a waste. She also added that I'll look back wondering why I was so worried. Well, she is half right. I did do pretty nicely in my classes, but there are lots of rooms for improvement. However, I'm not too confident about the coming exams nor am I for the following 2-3 years. Hopefully she's right. What I'm also worried is whether I'll be able to find a job when I graduate. Looking at the economic crisis we're experiencing, there's no way I cannot worry about the future. Besides, I'm still jobless.

No one can control what the future unfolds, nor can they foretell the events that are waiting to happen. I suppose we just have to wait and see with strong hopes in our hearts.

A Lowlife?

I have been given the biggest insult a person can ever receive. Today, a so-called friend called me a lowlife. Who? Her name's Teresa, the same friend I mentioned in "The Events So Far" entry whom I begged for forgiveness just because I attempted to mend her friendship with friend A (and yes, their friendship is still broken). What happened? While friend C (from "The Events So Far" entry) went to stand in line to use the microwave provided by the school, we continued the conversation about the bag an Asian dude left behind at our table while he stood in line for the microwave. I didn't like it there while she said she didn't mind at all. The conversation magically elevated into an argument where she first called me selfish and later on, a lowlife.

However, what she didn't know is that while I stayed behind to guard the table when she and friend C went to their lockers, the Asian dude just walked up to the table and dropped his stuff on the chair. When I told him that someone is sitting there, he just looked at me, continued to take out his lunch and left his bag while he walked towards the line for the microwave.

Does disliking a situation like that make me a lowlife? Does she even KNOW what a lowlife is at all? I don't even see the point in trying to maintain a friendship with someone so barbarous like her. Fine. She called me a lowlife, then I'll show her what kind of a lowlife I can actually be! Unfortunately, my conscience is stopping me from giving her payback because I know that under ANY circumstances, hurting someone is wrong. Besides, it doesn't solve anything.

No one has ever given me such an insult, and NEVER would I EVER call ANYBODY a lowlife. NO ONE deserves this kind of an insult; calling someone one only shows what kind of a person you are. She better not come looking for trouble, or else I'll DEFINITELY show her my true colours. I don't want to hurt anyone nor do I like to, but somehow she's asking for it. Should I give it to her?