There Are Some Things I Just Can't Stand

Everyone has a limit to how much they can tolerate and I'm no different. When someone tries to take advantage of you, your first response is to stop them, not encourage them. For some odd reason, I think that I'm actually encouraging him to take advantage of me. Am I?

Friend E (from An Overreaction?) is in my Friday Organic Chemistry lab class. When he found out that I was in his class, he immediately asked to be my lab partner and I agreed. Upon gaining that knowledge, a few of my friends wished me luck and warned me that problems were yet to come. The first month just passed by and I'm starting to understand why.

For our program, each student is obligated to purchase a lab kit which is filled with the all essential equipment to conduct both Chemistry and Biology experiments. He owned one too but for some reason, he lost his during the summer. I knew that the line for the bookstore was psychotic during the first few weeks and getting everything you need within the first week is extremely difficult (and more likely impossible but miracles do exist) and so I lent him mine during the second week (and gave him my locker combination so that he could put it back himself afterwards). I was just trying to be nice and had expected him to get a new one soon. On the third week, he asked to borrow my lab kit again. Trying to be a good friend, I lent it to him, thinking it would be the last time.

During the Wednesday on the fourth week (last week Wednesday), I went to my locker to get my lab kit for my next (lab) class. When I opened my locker, shock took over - my lab kit was missing. At first, I thought I left it in my first class but there was a class inside and I couldn't enter. I quickly decided to leave my stuff in the lab room as an indication that I was present and go search for my lab kit (did I mention that it cost me $110 and now it's worth $150?). As I left the room, I bumped into none other than Friend E and in his hand was my lab kit. Relief and anger surged into my veins leaving me with the only ability to say "Oh my God!" numerous times. It turned out that he took my lab kit to help complete the last step of our experiment from last Friday. He could have at least left a message in my locker or on my cell to let me know. My friend told me that I shouldn't have lent it to him in the first place, not to mention giving him my locker combination. She even told me to encourage him to get his own.

He wasn't a good lab partner either. In the experiments we've completed so far, I did most of the work while he acted as my assistant. Honestly, I don't mind doing the work because at least I would know that it's done right (I'm not trying to be mean, nor am I insulting him...I'm just being honest and truthful). Last week Friday, we were doing a distillation experiment and it involved assembling the apparatus. When I was about to start, I suddenly noticed that he disappeared. He was nowhere to be seen. I asked a few classmates to find out that he took off to photocopy the lab evaluation sheet for them. Stunned by the news, I could only return to my seat and began assembling the apparatus myself. When I was almost finished, he returned from his photocopying business. Seeing his return made me pissed. I immediately expressed my anger (and made it clear that I was extremely pissed) to him and quickly completed the experiment. How can he be so irresponsible and so inconsiderate?

When class ended, he asked for my lab kit and acted as if nothing had happened. At my locker, I allowed my anger to take over and we had a serious conversation (I didn't yell at him, I didn't scream but I was loud enough to be heard by whoever passed by). I immediately asked him when he would get his own lab kit and expressed my irritation toward what had happened on Wednesday and in Organic Chem. He thought that he could continue to borrow my lab kit for the rest of the semester and planned to get his own in the winter semester. His excuse was that he spent most of his money on books and couldn't afford the lab kit. He's not the only person who's buying textbooks for his courses, so am I and so are the other post-secondary students. Besides, it's clear that it's extremely inconvenient for us to share one lab kit and more problems will arise. Not to mention that he's using up my glass slides and not paying me back afterwards. At that time, I felt extremely guilty for expressing my anger and with that guilt I let him use my lab kit, again. Am I really encouraging him to take advantage of me? Am I really allowing him to do that?

The only thing I could think of to stop him is to constantly remind him to get his own lab kit and perhaps hide a few mandatory items to pose some inconveniences for him. What else can I do to stop this madness? Any ideas?