Finally Letting Go...

Earlier today, I suddenly thought of him and finally realized one thing...we are more suitable to be just friends. Why did I come to that conclusion? Perhaps I will explain in further detail in one of my future entries (we'll see). Now that I have finally let him go, I can now concentrate on something of more importance: exams. Yes, that's right - exams! I have four exams scheduled within three days of next week: two on Monday and one each on Tuesday and Wednesday. This means I need to STUDY and earn a good mark (hopefully) in all of my courses! Wish me luck!

An Eventful Day It Was!

Yesterday was an awesome day! But...before I start, let's have an overview of the recent events!

As I mentioned in the previous entry, I had a chemistry lab exam the following day. It wasn't too bad at all, since my test involved one of the easiest machines to operate. While taking my time, I managed to finish the entire exam! What else? On the following Monday, I had a psychology assignment due on that day, making me spend part of my weekend working on it! And that's not all! I had a total of three tests scheduled on that week: two on Wednesday and a Biology lab test/exam on Thursday! You can imagine how exhausted I was by the end of that week! Surprisingly, just when I thought I could to catch some sleep, another assignment was due on the following Tuesday, which was yesterday! It was a semi-formal biology lab report on a project that I've been working on for the past few weeks, and it was due yesterday. And so, I pulled a all-nighter and handed it in.

In case you were wondering about the events between me and Teresa...Well there is nothing more to say. In class, I don't say "Hi" to her, nor does she to me. When we see each other in the hallways, we just walk past one another without saying anything - as if we are complete strangers (and I hope it stays this way)! Well enough of the boring stuff, let's get to the main topic!

As I mentioned earlier, there was a report due yesterday. Since there was nothing more to do, class was immediately over! And so, I went to downtown with a few college friends and ate at a sushi restaurant that Friend A (from "Events So Far" entry) strongly recommended. Getting there was an adventure, as we were trying to get into the restaurant before 3 PM. What's the rush? Apparently, this restaurant offered a all-you-can-eat lunch buffet that ends at 3PM (otherwise, they'll charge you with the price for a dinner). Fortunately, we arrived fifteen minutes before the lunch buffet ended, giving us fifteen minutes to order. None of us knew what to order and so, Friend A did the ordering! (We were actually watching her in amazement while she ordered. Apparently, she's been there quite a few times and knew the menu pretty well!) Within minutes, our table was filled with food: from sushi to a variety of cooked dishes, and they all looked so tasty! (I especially recommend the salmon belly! Ask me for the restaurant location if you're interested.) I suppose she ordered a little too much food, as we were struggling to finish them. (The food was freshly made, and so they will charge you if 90% of the food aren't finished)! In the end, we filled our tummies full and the food was gone - all of it! Now, you might think we didn't have room for more, but we still had some left for...ice cream! Two of us had mango (myself included) and the other two had green tea!

During the entire meal, we were laughing and joking with each other as if we were drunk! Most importantly, we had an awesome time and took lots of pictures (for those who know me, check them out at Fb)! Although we had a lecture to attend at 7 PM, we managed to go to Eaton Centre, do a little shopping and return to the campus.

The lunch was actually a departure meal for Friend A, since she's leaving Toronto to study in Regina. The meal definitely served its purpose: a memory we will never forget and laugh about it whenever it comes to our mind!

Can't Believe It's Coming to an End

I still don't understand why Teresa's still onto me. After classes ended in the afternoon, I went to the bus stop and saw her there waiting for the bus. I kept my distance away from her until the bus came. Not knowing that she takes the same bus (if I did, I would have stayed behind), I walked past her towards it. When she called me, I didn't respond. Then, she called me once more and tapped on my shoulder to get my attention. That small gesture made me pissed immediately. (Mind you, she doesn't like anybody touching her, not even a small tap, and yet she touched me. How ironic!) I turned my head, and said F-off (Don't misunderstand, I didn't say the word, just the letter 'F'). While I took the transfer, she asked, "Why are you doing this to me?" Calmly, I answered, "Hmm, I wonder." To that, she said, "Why are you doing this to me? I don't deserve this." With an unfriendly smile, I simply asked, "Really?" and sat on the seat near the exit (at least a meter away from her), my back towards her. "I already said I'm sorry, so I don't owe you anything" is all she said, though she did sound a bit pissed (at me maybe?).

So, Teresa's saying that by simply apologizing, I should let go of that insult she gave me? Come on, she can't be serious! That insult ripped my dignity and she thinks she doesn't owe me anything? Even if hers' is removed, it won't erase my loss, nor would I feel any better. After a simple argument (refer to "The Events So Far" entry), she's still not willing to talk to friend A. If she can't let go of something that small, why does she expect me to forget the insult? Honestly, the argument is nothing compared to the insult, and don't forget about the countless "mean" jokes she's said to me (refer to "Should I? Or Should I Not? entry). If I didn't have a nosebleed half an hour earlier, I would have lost my temper right there and then. Luckily for her, I kept myself as calm as possible to prevent any further bleeds. Besides, there's no need to become upset and ruin my day.

Anyways, enough about Teresa. I can't believe that my first year at college is actually coming to an end. It's closer than you think (at least for my classmates and myself) because I have a Chemistry lab exam tomorrow afternoon. I remember talking to a friend about my worries for college during the summer holiday. I was afraid I wouldn't survive the first month and was extremely anxious about the tests and assignments that would be given in my class. I remember her telling me that I'll do fine and that my worries are a waste. She also added that I'll look back wondering why I was so worried. Well, she is half right. I did do pretty nicely in my classes, but there are lots of rooms for improvement. However, I'm not too confident about the coming exams nor am I for the following 2-3 years. Hopefully she's right. What I'm also worried is whether I'll be able to find a job when I graduate. Looking at the economic crisis we're experiencing, there's no way I cannot worry about the future. Besides, I'm still jobless.

No one can control what the future unfolds, nor can they foretell the events that are waiting to happen. I suppose we just have to wait and see with strong hopes in our hearts.

If Only...

It was snowing today. If only I could walk with him under the snowfall. I wonder if I'll have the opportunity to do so.

Should I? Or Should I Not?

When the biology lecture ended today, Teresa came up to me and apologized for what she said to me two days ago. I got pissed off at the sight of her and so I simply waved her away as I walked past her towards the exit. I know that was a fairly rude gesture, but somehow I don't feel guilty for my rudeness (as I usually do in normal situations) because deep inside I felt that she deserved it.

Afterwards, I told friend C (from "The Events So Far" entry) about what happened in the lecture room and apparently, she was a bit surprised. As we all know, Teresa is not a person who would ever admit her faults, not to mention apologize for them. Then I asked friend C something that lingered in my mind at the time: should I accept Teresa's apology? All friend C said was, "It's up to you." Not being too pleased with her response, I asked her what she would do if it happened to her. Unfortunately, she didn't know, nor could she imagine it. Knowing how bothered I am by the situation, she helped me sort out what has happened during the school year.

During the first semester, all was peaceful and everyone was happy. However, things changed once the second semester began. Including the insult, Teresa has thrown me her attitude/insults for a total of FOUR times, excluding the COUNTLESS "mean" jokes she's said to me, and to be honest, the mean jokes are more rude and insulting than they are mean. Teresa is someone who expects others to let go of the mean jokes she says but takes them seriously (and I mean extremely seriously) when said to her and (as friend C pointed out) she tends to fire her insults at me (and not so much to the others). I guess it's because she knows that I don't take the mean jokes seriously, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to accept them on a daily basis.

As I'm typing this entry, I remember a phrase from a pledge that all the students at my junior high had to memorize: "I am responsible for my own actions" and it's true. Everyone is responsible for what they say and do, and there are NO exceptions. Having that said, I don't think I should accept her apology. There is NO way I'm going to take another crap from her, and I shouldn't. Besides, she IS responsible for what she said, and therefore, she should endure the consequences. She should learn that nothing in this world is bound to go her way, nor is it obligated to take her attitude - especially in the working world.

Whether she learns her lesson or not, it is no longer my problem, and it wasn't supposed to from the start. There is absolutely NO way I'm going to be friends with her, nor am I going to take another crap from ANYONE, and she's no different.

New Blog Coming Soon!

Right now, I'm considering to create another blog under the same name: Starless.Night! Don't worry, I will post the link when it's ready! So, stay tuned!!

A Lowlife?

I have been given the biggest insult a person can ever receive. Today, a so-called friend called me a lowlife. Who? Her name's Teresa, the same friend I mentioned in "The Events So Far" entry whom I begged for forgiveness just because I attempted to mend her friendship with friend A (and yes, their friendship is still broken). What happened? While friend C (from "The Events So Far" entry) went to stand in line to use the microwave provided by the school, we continued the conversation about the bag an Asian dude left behind at our table while he stood in line for the microwave. I didn't like it there while she said she didn't mind at all. The conversation magically elevated into an argument where she first called me selfish and later on, a lowlife.

However, what she didn't know is that while I stayed behind to guard the table when she and friend C went to their lockers, the Asian dude just walked up to the table and dropped his stuff on the chair. When I told him that someone is sitting there, he just looked at me, continued to take out his lunch and left his bag while he walked towards the line for the microwave.

Does disliking a situation like that make me a lowlife? Does she even KNOW what a lowlife is at all? I don't even see the point in trying to maintain a friendship with someone so barbarous like her. Fine. She called me a lowlife, then I'll show her what kind of a lowlife I can actually be! Unfortunately, my conscience is stopping me from giving her payback because I know that under ANY circumstances, hurting someone is wrong. Besides, it doesn't solve anything.

No one has ever given me such an insult, and NEVER would I EVER call ANYBODY a lowlife. NO ONE deserves this kind of an insult; calling someone one only shows what kind of a person you are. She better not come looking for trouble, or else I'll DEFINITELY show her my true colours. I don't want to hurt anyone nor do I like to, but somehow she's asking for it. Should I give it to her?